shrug & smile

When you are easily triggered to limit your palette of choice to either....fight, or..... flight ( in any shape or form it may seem fit) and wonder how you can apply yourself to having more options in situations that are notthe  REAL life & death crisis situation you be tempted to perceive them to be.......

Here is a simple solution you can squeeze into most situations where you feel the impuls to fight or flight.

It is called 'shrug and smile'. It is free.

You can produce it yourself, right ont the spot, on your awareness that you need your full range of freedom of choice here, knowing that you are a homo sapiens, with all the needs that come with being a human, that go way further than 'physical safety' only.

The technical description on how to squeeze out an Energetical Sound Shrug & Smile manouvre is threefold

the thought:

• think:" I wonder what I can contribute to improve this situation'

         that is called in technical terms :

        "setting your intention in your active consicous awareness"

the shrug:

• lift both your shoulders simultaniously up till your ears and

• when they reach that point... drop them again to there relaxed position

the smile:

• pull the left side of your mouth towards your left ear, while you also pull the right side of your mouth towards your right ear ( without using your hands, just using the muscles in your face).. as far as you can. When your lips can part, that is perfectly OK. If not.... equally fine.

Producing it and squeezing it out, takes about 2 seconds.

In those 2 seconds, what you are 'doing' in the energetical dynamics of the choice process is this:

With the thought, you are in one second actively making a full loop between the three key elements:

• I wonder... activates your knowing and connects it to.... 

• two desires

1. the desire to contribute what you can, (implies...now) 
2. the desire to improve this situation ( implies...here)

• stating that in a choice, an expression of what you desire to give attention and dedicate time and energy to.

The next second you are setting the energy in motion in something you know to head into the desired direction..... creating more options than either....fight or.... flight. 

The list of benefits and understandings on why it works so well, is long, so I'll go for a summary in bullet points.

Inwardly:

• You are honouring the impuls (need) to contract your muscles  (allways the first step in any flight or fight procedure, to assamble the requered enegy). Honouring your needs in a situation is a good idea.
• You are then using that enegy for something else than fight or flight. (Shrug and smile..... things you are not very likely to be able to do in any flight or flight manouvre)
• Actually doing this, sends the feedback to the system.... "OK, we know now for sure this is not a crisis situation" (otherwise this could not have been happening)
• That opens the connection from your 'knowing' to check with your other desires (again) then 'physical safety' alone.
• The knowing of what those needs and desires are, right now (short term and longer term, are poured into your knowing) combined with the knosledge of all the resources you have available right now, all the experiences that might apply to dealing with this, wisely.
• The observable fact that you are able to perform, right now two both..... and ..... operations ( both shrug and smile, both contract and relax  your muscles) if firing up the knowing of what type of choices you are capable to process and execute, right now.
  The observable fact that you are able to perform, right now, an option creates on the fly, is firing up your knowing that knowing of you being a creative being, who can improvise... use known thing in a different way.
• Since you are proving in one second all this knowing to be present, more options that fit those description are poured into your awareness. In only two seconds you have reminded yourself of your whole unique palette of choice as a human being.
  

Outwardly:

• Any other person involved in the situation has felt the tension rising to orange/red alert. Millions of years of evolution have fine-tuned our animal instincts. We are able to detect and respond to the tiniest clues on 'danger' to our wellbeing, (usually) way under the thresholds of active conscious awareness.....
• That means chances are that they are close to their animal fight/flight responses to kick in ( if that hasn't already happened). That is limiting their choice.... if they were to go into action (fight or flight), it is rapidly limiting your choices and sense of safety too. ( unless you can be very, very present and aware of your choices... which requires a while longer to train then 2 seconds)
• Picking up your powerfull clear non-verbal signals, the other person arms-down, calms down... if only.. just a touch. Which can be just enough to broaden the horizons, the palettes of choices for everybody in this situation.
  Obviously (or maybe not so obvious to you...) when you really mean that you are there with good intentions only...... if your intentions contain only a sliver of a need of doing any harm to needs of the other, trust ' animal instinct' to convey that message... without fail .....to the (unconscious) knowing of the other. You can't fool millions of years of training.
  Pretending to be 'nice' and 'peaceful' and meaning 'no harm' by doing the 'right thing' is not enough. Your real vibes travel further than you may think.
• They see the ' human' in you. No animal can smile, like humans do. You show them you are wiling to show your humanity in this situation... by doing it. No matter how clumsily performed, on the vibe of good intentions, that message is picked up
• You show that you are completely disarming yourself. You have just let go of all the built up energy in your system necessary to be ready to start running or start kicking.
• You are showing to seek and establish re-connection, to find solutions...together. You are communicating about the desire to relate with peace and joy to the other.
• You are clearly supporting the dynamics ' for the better' between you.
  

Then what?

• From there usually what can be expected is another form of typical unique human behaviour: talking
• From this ' first move' into the right (desired) direction to move from this situation into ' better', the consious minds start to exchange information on the very same three elements in the dynamics: the knowing, the needs and desires and the available choices.
• They get freely combined and looked at now, in a much calmer state of mind